On Friends...

In middle and high school, I desperately wanted to be Popular. I would watch those kids walk by - smart, well dressed, and so cold. I didn't exist, and the more I didn't exist, the more desperate I grew.

People do crazy things to numb desperation. I was no different. After making a series of very bad choices, I met someone. There was a person in my life I was trying to move past. It was hard! This person had been a very, very large part of my life for over four years. In exasperation, I exclaimed to the girl sitting next to me in one of my college classes that this guy just wouldn't leave me alone. She looked at me and said, "You don't have to talk to him."

Umm. Duh. Right? Honestly, that thought hadn't occurred to me. Not once did I stop and realize there was no law staying I had to part on good terms with this guy. A lot of people I thought were my good friends, were not. Not really. We all had an unfortunate affinity for... stupid activities. Because of this one girl, I realized I could just burn those bridges and really give no shits about the fact. Sometimes, burned bridges are safe because those bridges probably should have been condemned years ago. 

I am still friends with that girl from class. I went to her wedding. She helped me organize my wedding. Her dad actually officiated at my wedding. She was there after my first baby was born. She hopped on a red eye flight, drove three hours through a state she didn't know, all to be with me when our second child was born at 33 weeks. She sends my kids Christmas gifts. We can pick up conversations like we never stopped having them. She is the very best friend I have ever had.

There is a part of me that thinks I don't deserve such a friend. I have the great privilege of knowing many wonderful women, and a few men, that I can't quite believe want to be my friend... that they like me. Now that I am a grown up, and do lots of grown up things, I am a little bit more able to just be grateful. So. If you like me, and are my friend, know that I am grateful for you... and that you are most likely a VERY bright spot in my hazy days of child rearing.