Fleeting Moments

As a mother, there are some things you feel so deeply, it takes your breath away. Women, in general, have this weird quirk laying under the surface... I just think mothers let it lay at the surface. We cry with joy over first steps, first foods, and first birthdays. We weep with sadness over first concussions, first failed cartwheels, and first vomiting episodes. We laugh ourselves to tears over silly butt shaking dances, accidental projectile snotty sneezes, and the inevitable turn around right into the wall moments.

The moments that take your breath away are not things people without children would even understand. Not really. You can feel moments deep in your heart over your nieces, nephews, and God children, but the way one feels about their own children is so special. You feel them grow inside your body. You labor over them. You watch them breath, and if you are the mother of a preemie, beg for them to breath. You smell the tops of their heads, and kiss them so many times you couldn't possible count that high. It's different, to be a mother. So very different. You can tell your friends that it doesn't, or won't change you, but it is a lie... a bold faced lie.

I tried to pretend having the children didn't change me, and perhaps after we had Sassy, I was basically the same. Bubba was the game changer for me, I think. Something in my heart shifted when he came bursting into life too early. Ah, and then there is Little Baby. Who wouldn't be changed by the kid that almost killed you... I can say that last thing with a bit of humor now, but I assure you.. it is no joke. I love these children. They are mine... for now. One day, all too soon, they will be grown up people, far too busy to call me as much as I want. Far too busy for me to kiss them as much as I want.

That is why we do things like this....

Those are laundry baskets with a pillow inside, a bowl full of popcorn, a cozy blanket, and a movie on. We had a movie date. The boys were so, so, SO excited. My friend, Lovely, is the one who suggested this, and I feel she is the best gal for sharing. This is my fleeting moment today. This moment will never happen again. Not ever. We can try to recreate this moment, but it will never be the same. The joy of this brand new experience will never happen again.

The cruelest thing about having a baby, is that they grow up. My advice, dear readers, is to take joy in your fleeting moments. Cry if you have to, but hang on to these moments.. they are so precious.