Century Link is Terrible

Dear Century Link Internet Provider for Idiots,

Hi. I am one of the idiots that pays you a ridiculous amount of money for internet that is spotty at best. You won't ever read this, because let's face it... you are a giant corporation, and you will continue to dick us over, because what other choice do we have? Seriously. In my neighborhood, you are the only one with lines into us all - the other providers have to use satellite dishes. Satellite internet is the tech world's lazy solution to get people internet in places where monopolies exist.

I freaking hate you, Century Link. Like, if you were an actual person, and you were on fire, I might, kind of, sort of, actually just walk right by. I mean, I would totally let someone else know you were on fire, but I personally would do nothing about it. I would not go out of my way to help you not be on fire, because you are kind of, definitely an utter asshat. For realz, yes that Z is on purpose, what is the problem here? In 2015, I long for the days of my dial up internet, because at least we knew that is was going to be slow. You know?

My bandwidth is almost like my sanity at the end of the day. I made this really silly, and utterly amazing, choice to stay at home and raise our children. Two of them happen to be under two, preemies, and not going to daycare. They are with me all the time. Pooping their pants, screaming nonsense at me, and demanding all my love and attention. Then I pick up my one and only girl child from school, and then I have three lovely tiny humans wanting all of my love. Frankly, it's exhausting. They go to bed, and I want to zone out to Game of Thrones, Gotham, or Grey's Anatomy. You want to know what, you fucks? Those apps don't work, because the fucking shitty internet tanks at night. TANKS. NOSE DIVE. I am 100% fine with have no internet all day. Like, can you save all my bandwidth from the daytime, and let me use it at night?

I am not really sure how to end this rant. Probably like I end all of my rants to you, which I am sure you didn't read. In case you are interested in reading them, please see your Facebook page, and look within each post of the last year. So here it goes.

Fix my internet. Fix my internet. Fix my internet. FIX. MY. INTERNET. FIX IT!!!!